Joy and Peace | Two in One

Well, it's certainly been a long time since I have written anything. I have spiritually gone from one extreme to the other time and time again in just a short span of about two and a half weeks. I am not expert on the subject I had in mind to discuss, but I have recently gathered that we as people learn from our own experiences. So, perhaps if I share this with you I to can take away from this and apply it to my life.

I crave joy. I long for that mantel of pure joy, where laughter comes easily. I long for that ability to just scream from the top of my lungs from the excitement and joy that bubbles up from the depths of our beings to praise God. Instead I am a reserved quiet person that I believe is quenching the person God designed. If I crave them, was I not created for that? John 16: 24 states this "Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." My joy isn't full. Yet, over and over it is given to us the option of child like behavior to simply ask. I the other night was discussing with one of my dear friends the simplicity of the kingdom. That to obtain anything we need simply to ask Father, and it shall be given. So then why is it so difficult to obtain joy? The kingdom of heaven is the opposite of what our world makes things. In heaven the first shall come last, reference Matthew 19:30. So in our nature it is that joy comes first then we rejoice. Should it not be then that we rejoice in Him and the joy shall be given? I think so. Bill Johnson said it to, and I respect what he has to say. I right now in my life am honestly at the lowest point I have ever been. From the outside looking in it looks positively horrid, and until this morning the inside looked just as horrid. As I searched myself I found only anger, bitterness, hate, and malice. Today. I choose to begin to rejoice in what is happening around me, through me, in me, and with that will come a break through in myself. I will be given the peace and joy of the Lord. My spirit will be gentle, what was destroyed by circumstance will be built back up, and I will be made whole again. I think that I will made more then what I was before Satan had a chance to take a whack at me. Because with all this knowledge and wisdom I obtain, I have the opportunity to take the upgrade and become more like Christ. So simple, so beautiful.

So if it is simple to obtain joy through the asking and rejoicing in our spirits shouldn't be easy to gain peace. Absolutely. Joy and peace go hand in hand.

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."

I want both of those, but more importantly the outcome is hope and to live life you need hope. I have/had very little, it will build back up. The more I proclaim it the more likely it is to come to pass. Holy Spirit lives within me, therefore if he abounds in hope so do I. I am not quite sure how much sense this is making, but it's so important. If we have no hope there is no way to shift our perspective and we allow now room for God to soften our hearts. Realty is realty. We can't change it but what I can change is my perspective. Honesty from friends, ourselves, and Holy spirit will keeps us accountable to the issues of our character. And if we do not have joy and peace then there is something terrible wrong with our character, especially if we call ourselves Christians.

So leave with this... that if you ask it shall be given, that if we first rejoice no matter the circumstance joy will hold fast to us and our peace shall be steady in the storm. Our hope will not waver and I will remain whole in his spirit. I think that having written about it has solidified it in my own spirit. And with a sound mind I can now apply this in my life so that I can rise about my circumstance and allow his spirit to do the work that is needed. Because I know in my life that if it is to mean anything then how I handle each situation is going to affect someone else and if they see God in me then my work has been done.

The Wedding vs The Marriage

I growing up dreamed of being a wife and a mother, just like my mother. More importantly I dreamt often of the man I would spend the rest of my life with. I didn't really dream of the wedding, it was always the marriage that I longed for. I knew that I was cut out for a life of being a wife, mother, and still be a career driven woman. I want it all.

Being raised in a family where marriage, love, and community are at the heart has always had a huge impact on how I view and approach life. I think that most women if they do think of the "marriage" they are thinking about the wedding. It is every girls big day, she is the center of attention. I had never really thought of it in detail until I got engaged to my husband now Erik. I instead always dreamed of what was to come, the ability to provide as a woman, raising a home where peace and love were felt in the environment. I wanted that home that radiated the Father's love. Why? He often speaks of His love for us. He created marriage. The marriage and the wedding symbolize what God did for the church.

I love weddings, it is the most wonderful celebration. I love the joy, the excitement, and the presence of God that is involved with them. I love watching wedding shows, all of them. I especially love David Tutera's show. The gift he gives each of these brides he helps is just always astounding. The show honestly never ceases to make choke up just a bit, at the joy he presents to these women. But what I always wonder is how does the marriage go? After the day of magic what happens? I know my fairy tale has taken it's toll.

I believe that it always takes longer for a woman to adjust to the life of being married then the man. I mean biblically speaking it says that the man leaves his parents to cleave to his wife. It never once says anything about the woman. I totally think that a marriage is just two people. But that separate from mother and father to husband takes time. It is a sweet process. When your husband continues to woo you beyond the wedding day and every day shows and lays down his life for you it brings you to a place of ultimate love for that person. And they become your first love not your parents. Now, some don't have great parents, I did, I don't know what it is life for the other spectrum, but for me it is a tough struggle of a transition.

My transition has come to a halt, as I have said that my fairy tale has been a bit rocky. How do you handle the struggles of a marriage? Well, I have learned this quickly no battle is worth being right over and that no matter what the only person that I can improve is me. I focus only on improving me, I never try and make my husband improve himself. He has to choose to want to change and create a new "normal" with me. We all have different normals, different ways of how we live life. We are individuals. In order to have a healthy successful marriage you must constantly work towards creating a normal of peace, love, and grace. Otherwise everything else will fail. Satan is there to destroy this beautiful thing between two people.

I believe in marriage, not the wedding. However, I also love the wedding. The beauty and joy of the celebration is worth all the time and effort, even if David Tutera didn't do my wedding, it was gorgeous. What I want is that love that is strong, powerful, and healthy where I can raise my family in an environment even my step son whom I look at as my own flesh and blood. I don't really like the term step child. I want that family that leaves a legacy for God to be proud of. I don't know who doesn't. What's more important is helping the couples understand the importance of the marriage, and to recognize that it's more important to change you than the other person. Always fight for the other person to come out on top, and you can't really go wrong.

Unstoppable Love

The bible says that it is His kindness that brings us to repentance. No amount of bible verses, religious jargon, or saying that we need to repent will bring us to His feet. It is Holy Spirit in us. It is never us, but He who abides in us that draws people with the kindness we exude. Do you exude a spirit of kindness, humility, and love? I hope with every fiber that you do.

I have been listening to a song called 'Unstoppable Love' by Kim Walker-Smith and her husband Skylar Smith. She in the song sings this "God you pursue me with power and glory, unstoppable love that never ends. You're unrelenting with passion and mercy unstoppable love that never ends." It brings tears to my eyes, it penetrates my very being. His love is so overwhelming. He says to us, "My love you're worth it all." If you don't believe that go to what the bible tells us. He died and suffered on a cross and gave up everything so that we may live and know God. That sacrifice made it possible for us to live. I never want to be separated from a love that great. It is the greatest love story ever told. We can not stop His love, He will pursue you.

This past weekend has been the hardest weekend of my life. I went to a counseling session with my husband Sunday evening. I left with my mother to give me a ride home. I sat there telling her what had transpired, and all I could do was sit there. I was not distressed, in fear, or worried. I instead was abiding in His love. I wept for my husband, that he too would experience this perfect love. I wept for his soul, that he would be caught up in what God has ready for him. I know the plans for my husband are great, that his calling on this earth is amazing. But if we do not walk in who God has created us to be, it is very hard to live that out. I believe that you can not love another until you first love yourself. I recently began loving myself as God sees me. I do not know how I came to do that, but instead of focusing on my weight, appearance, or what others said about who I was my perspective shifted. It made a 180. I saw myself as courageous, exuberant, strong, and all around amazing. I have God's DNA intertwined with mine, that means that I reflect the Father when I walk in His covering. I made that conscious choice sixteen days ago, that I was no longer satisfied with a mediocre life. I want more, I crave more from this life and I will stop at nothing till it is mine.

I started writing this blog shortly after being married, and I write words that wage war on the devil. I have been attacked ever since. I believe that my words will resonate with people, and they will begin to seek out the truth. I believe that my words are making a difference, because not only am I speaking them, practicing them, but writing them. They are forever manifested on this earth, and I am winning this war with Satan. I will not fall out of the grace and favor God has me under. I love favor even it's definition is beautiful, it is bestowing on someone kindness above and beyond what is due to that person. If you choose to operate out of a mindset of favor from God, you will notice changes around you immediately. You have the power to shift the hearts around you and change their perspectives by the light you bring into that room or house. 

I want to end on this verse, Romans 8:35-39 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Go in peace, and knowing that you will never be without His unstoppable love.

Sovereign, not in Control

Sovereignty, it is a tricky thing. Do you believe God is sovereign? I do. Do you believe God is control? I do not. I believe this: That if we are created in His image that we have free will. That God is pro-choice. He did not create us to make us his puppets, he created us to choose Him and live a life seeking Him. He is love and therefore craves love and relationship with His most valued creation, us.

I will admit, I am exhausted and have little desire to spew off bible verses. So today will just be my view point, feel free to compare my words to what the scripture has to say on your own. God created us to choose Him, to choose to love Him. He created a bond between man and Himself that is based on love, trust, and faith. He says that the perfect depiction of what He desires with us is marriage. I am not appointed a husband. There is no one soul mate for me. Instead I choose whom I love, and I choose to become one flesh with another when I make covenant with them. A covenant is a binding act, it ties to the other person or God. He desires nothing more than that with us.

If you believe that God is in control, then His will would already have taken place. His will is this, on earth as it is in heaven. Is that true to this day? Is heaven here on earth? No. If so there would be perfect peace, no sickness, and no destruction. There is tension in the bible, two rights or two wrongs. But this I am sure of, that God does not toy with us. He did not create evil, however, he did create Satan who created evil. That may be said a bit harshly, but you get my gist. He is not control, yet desires for us to choose a life that is a constant pursuit of His heart. Just as a man pursues His beloved to make her his bride; God also purses us to make us His bride and we as His bride continue the pursuit whole heartedly. God is very clear that He wants us as His bride. Think literally, a bride is anxious, joyful, and excited always to see her beloved groom. I should know I was married only two weeks ago. We wait eagerly to please our husband, to be loved and cherished like no other by him. To be swept up in his strong arms and to have all our worries whisked away. In agape, or perfect love, there is no fear and therefore room to be vulnerable with Father God or our husband. It is a sweet love, and romance to be swept up in.

I am not afraid to come before His throne, to stand boldly. I come to Him and ask point blank what my heart is crying out for. I am vulnerable with Him, I allow myself to be sweetly taken into His covering. His love dissolves my fear, His love brings me peace in the storm. He is sovereign, because He as my kind sees what I need and fulfills it. He never once controls me, yet beckons me with His love.

I am not really sure where I am going with this, but I know that it is from my heart. What I am experiencing, what I need, want, and desire. To be in perfect love with Father. To be under His covering where I am safe. He provides all that I need, and I am satisfied in Him. Will you choose to move into a place with Him, where you encounter His perfect love? I hope so.

The Power of Words

Do you ever have those late night discussions with your significant other? I do. It really made me think, I have a lot to say but I am not very good in the heat of the moment saying what is on my mind. So this is me sharing my carefully thought out response to my husband. That I thought was worthy of sharing.

Our discussion late at night was about the power of words. From a Christian stand point where I do not believe in many religious boundaries, my view point seems a bit outlandish. Have you ever considered that every word that you speak contains power, and shifts the atmosphere around you? Maybe, maybe not. I have thought about this. My father growing up always stressed the point of what words mean and do. With that in mind know that I believe that our words shift perspectives, atmospheres, and create life or destroy it.

Biblically speaking starting in Genesis it was written that God spoke into the existence the earth, plants, animals, and people. He created all things with the words he spoke; Doesn't that mean that we also speak things into existence? Yes, it does. It is reiterated in the bible that they are so powerful. Proverbs 18:21 says this; "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." We can create life or we can destroy life with our words. We speak things of heaven and we will see heaven on earth, we speak into existence who someone is and we will see a generation rise up more powerful than us. If we speak and intercede for countries, people, and current events we will see a change. And as more people turn their hearts towards God and cry out for the same things He will hear us and it will shift the atmosphere or nation. I believe that people are great and powerful. We have the ability to change anything and everything; we are greater than our circumstances. Many people do not rise above the situation but instead let the situation control them. That does not create a powerful person. Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." I interpret this as saying to us do not speak out of anger or human flesh. Instead speak through who God has intended you to be which is the depiction/image of Him. We are created in his image; therefore we have his mind and heart. Speak from this and only good will come to you. Grace is mention in the verse; do you know what it means? It means this: to honor or credit someones presence. Wow! We with our very words can honor that person's presence on earth, or glorify and rejoice with Father in what he has created. Everyone was created out of love and therefore are valuable. It is important to always see that everyone no matter status, shape, size, color, or upbringing that they are just as valuable and important as you. Always come from a place of grace, that we may glorify God and his precious creations. Did you know we are created above the angels? Just below the Father, that is how valuable you are. I hope you know your worth, because I do.

Proverbs 12:18 "There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." I probably read these and see something totally different than you. That's okay. That is why we are all here. Because we all see, hear, and view things different. Thank God, literally. Well here is my view of this verse... We can heal people with our words! I have seen this live and in action. Bringing grace and healing to another is such a wonderful gift. Words that align with what Father has to say and that come from a place of ultimate love is where healing, encouragement, and transformation begins. Kind words are rarely turned away, which in itself is a healing gift. This same concept is reiterated in Proverbs 15:4 "A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit." Breaking the spirit is breaking the person. As our mind (person) and spirit are in one. I don't care what you say, it's true. And knowing this why would anyone speak destruction over such a precious creation? YOU WOULDN'T! Especially if you value what was place on this earth purposefully by God. It's as simple as that. Yes, we get it wrong. I get it wrong. There is evil and the devil is here to kill, steal, and destroy. And well my friends, he does a good job. But there is never a better time to declare war on the devil then every day. To choose the path that God lay for you that day and to follow it. Staying in constant communication with the Holy Spirit, to be filled with Him and to be aware of Him is what makes it possible to stay on that straight and narrow line. Abide in his spirit every moment of every day, this will bring peace, joy, and contentment to you. That I promise, and I can promise you this because God gives us this same promise. We were created for this relationship between creator and created. How miraculous to know that our creator wants to know you personally and be there with you every step of the way.

I have a few finally points before I wrap this up, so please bear with me. And I only have two more verses. Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." The word (bible) is alive, it is living! It breaths through us, if we do not live a life that is speaking or screaming out what the Lord has written than what are we living for?! How powerful is the word and out word and our words paired with it. Extremely, if you need an answer. My last verse for the day is Deuteronomy 8:1 "Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors." My last point before I close out the day is this: We still need to claim that land back and declare it for the Lord, to redeem the earth. It groans beneath the weight of sin. Does that not mean that we are here to heal the earth and the people in it? Yes, that may be impossible which is why Christ returning is so vital and he will vanquish Satan once and for all and take back the keys. But is it not our purpose here to fight for what is ours as his children? It is a real and true battle that has to be fought. It will continue to worsen if people do not take action and take it seriously that the corruption of man will only get worse if we do not change. If we don't look to heaven to God and say I want all this for you and I want to be only for you. If we do that simple task He will shift and change our hearts. Things are going to change. I fully believe that statement. Even if it is just my neighborhood street… If the families there are always taken care of, that there is a community based off real love, true love that comes from a place of fullness with God. If this is accomplished then my life’s work is complete. It means that I lived a life that pointed towards Him constantly, and that small impact will grow. My legacy will be my children who seek out the Father and fight to redeem what he has created. If we change the hearts of man great things will happen. I can't wait to see these things come to pass, and knowing that I have played a part in it makes it that much greater! I believe this about myself, and I say it with no shame or arrogance. It is this; I am a powerful person. I have the ability to shift atmosphere, to give life or death, and to do works greater than what Jesus did on this earth (that is biblical), I will see people healed, raised from the dead, I will see them restored, and I will see the land redeemed. My children will do the same and it will be absolutely amazing. I am confident in Him and in me, because God of heaven and earth lives within me. I will never fail to fight this battle. Yes, I am human and I will vary from the path, but it is easy to get back on. Because just as God operated out of a place of love, mercy, forgiveness, and trust so should we.

This is my send off; there will be people who disagree, people who hate what I have to say. I don't care. I just hope that if you take away anything from this you realize that you are a powerful person, and are great. I know you are, and so should you.