What do you wrestle with?

I work a desk job. I sit in front of a computer eight, nine sometimes ten hours a day. I spend a lot of time writing blogs, listening to music, researching home improvement, questioning God, reading scripture, and allowing Him to reveal more of His heart to me. Something that I spend a lot of time thinking about is my purpose, what am I capable of, my dreams, what I want to see happen while I live on this earth. Here is what I have come up with. My doctrine is this, “God loves me, He created all things with words, and He sent His son to die for me, so that I may live a life for Him.” Wasn’t that simple? I do not like to over complicate things. I am often reminded in some fashion that if we love God and love our neighbors or in essence love, then everything will follow suit. I am not religious at all. I believe totally in a real relationship that is like any other I have. It takes work, and guess what? I suck at maintaining relationships for the most part. So you can imagine how it is with God. It’s tough stuff. I am learning to love; it’s an ever growing process. I am getting much better at it as I allow for Him to heal my heart. Matthew 22: 36-40 gives us our life’s work. Love, if you recall He says to have child-like faith (Luke 18:17, Matthew 18:3) for they inherit the kingdom of heaven. Children keep things very simple, so shouldn’t we went it comes to living? I think so.

I have a fairly open mind as to what can happen in my relationship with God. The possibilities are endless in my mind. I want to see the biggest picture I can possibly see. I do not ever want to be so small minded that I miss something. I have been there, and it sucks. You get so preoccupied with theology, or controlling something and you just are miserable. Religion makes you like this, it makes it really hard for Holy Spirit to work in you effectively, and it makes you short sighted. Also, you probably aren’t doing a very good job at loving as we are called to. Romans 2 says don’t judge otherwise we basically asking for the wrath of God. Everyone judges, well you better stop. I know I absolutely have to practice self-control in this area. And self-control is also like the hardest of the fruits of the spirit to master. That’s why we sin. God says, if you love me you will keep my commandments (John 14:15). Yikes! Does that mean if I sin I don’t love God? I don’t know, does it? You should probably search your heart, mature, and definitely seek His face. I know I drifted way far away from the straight and narrow. It is also a big process getting back to a place of ultimate love with God. It’s hard when you are a Christian to forgive yourself when you willingly sinned and you have to face your creator, and He still advocates for you and loves you fiercely. Wow, I wish I were like that. You wrong me? No problem let me be your advocate and let me raise you up, so that you can stand on my spiritual ceiling. I don’t think I have ever loved someone that much that I want to raise them up to a place greater than mine. I have a long ways to go. I do have hope though.

So that’s some of the big things I wrestle with. I wrestle with God asking questions. I want to learn. I do not strive to get the answers or obtain the wisdom or knowledge that will allow me to get there, that’s a waste of time. He says, ask and it will be given. I do ask. I am receiving. It’s not overnight, it takes work, it takes diligence, it takes application, and it takes self-control. There is a speaker, Graham Cooke, he states it simply. Take the flipping upgrade he is offering it always, so just take it. Well, that definitely made that easy. Children say they are hungry, we don’t say you can’t eat (don’t take this too far in your brain) we happily give to them a plate of food. God is the same way; He says come drink and eat of me I will satisfy you (I am paraphrasing). He so wants to be in relationship with you. It is romantic, sweet, and extreme. That’s the only way I know how to describe it. It’s so intense you just are speechless. He loves you so ferociously that you weep and laugh then weep again. You fall to your knees or better yet your face at His glory and overpowering presence. As His Spirit overwhelms you it’s all you can do to contain what you’re experiencing. He says we are His bride, if you’re married and have a healthy relationship you know what it is like to be in that vulnerable intimate place and it’s just so sweet and gentle. He adorns you with His riches clothes and best jewels, He so wants to show you off. He romances you, no not sexually, but sweetly. You can have those encounters if you haven’t already.

 Oh there is more, you know what excites me as well? The fact that He says we will do greater works then Jesus did on this earth (John 14:12). That in itself is super exciting, but there is more. If you believe God is sovereign, I do, and then so much more opens up. If we were created in His image that makes us sovereign, we are in control then of our thoughts, bodies, households, and this earth. When God created us He said it was good, so man is good. In Genesis 1 He says all of this, many is good, we are to reign over this earth, and we are in His image. If this is all true imagine all the unimaginable that can be done. Seriously, I can’t fathom it. You could change an entire nation if you have another person agreeing with you in prayer (Matthew 18:19). With the faith of a mustard seed we can move mountains, I take that literally. Walking on water should be any every day thing. We have the capability to change God’s mind (see: John 14: 13-14, John 15: 7-9, John 15:16, and John 16:24-27). With that being said, that opens up another whole can of worms. Whatever I ask in Jesus’ name it will be done. I can’t explain why things don’t always happen when we ask, but I wholeheartedly believe this. So I practice it. I ask for people to be healed, for people to be instantly cured of cancer, for people’s hearts to be softened and to seek His face.

 So instead of worrying about if your doctrine is right, why not focus on loving. Once we love, the atmosphere will change and when that happens anything can happen. I want to see that anything happen. I want to see nations turn to Jesus; I want to see our president saved and work towards an America that seeks after God’s heart. Imagine if leaders in our country decided to start praying over our nation, over our government decisions, over each other. Imagine if families stayed together because they loved one another. Imagine the healing that would take place. Imagine the impact on the earth itself, it would rejoice with us. People who dream with God will not be disappointed and who allow God to dream with them. Our hearts desires become His for us, because He loves us so. The possibilities are endless as to how we could change not just a city or a country, but the entire world. I want to dream big, because God does. He did after all create us, and we are a big deal.

Expansion of the Kingdom

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